I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
