You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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