Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
