Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
