Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize