Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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