toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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