what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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