Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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