We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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