We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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