I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
