Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
