What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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