Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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