my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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