I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
