the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
