i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
