normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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