I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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