help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
