I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
