if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
