I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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