i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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