Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i think i just lost a toe
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