did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
