My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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