turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
