mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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