Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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