I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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