at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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