Pappa wants mamma naked
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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