yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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