He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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