We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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