I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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