Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sex in a hospital.. check
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
