There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
