Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
