Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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