their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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