Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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