My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He kissed a someone with a penis
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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