I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
