i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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