remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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