I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
try to milk me bitch
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
