You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
