"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
