So drunk its hurt
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize