i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
