question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
