ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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