As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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