Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wish I only lived at night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
