I heard we made out
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
