I look better un-naked...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
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We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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